Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
