What a fucking waste of an outfit
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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