you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize