Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
