i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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