Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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