Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
