Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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