I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
