Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
