that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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