i would punch a child for taco bell
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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