Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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