Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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