this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Damn victory sex feels great
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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