He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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