remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
