i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
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