You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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