I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
