Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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