Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
