none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize