last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
