Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
