When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
