If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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