the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
