You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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