Its about making memories worth repressing
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
