you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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