i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
