I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
