Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
