sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
