so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
