I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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