Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
