everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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