you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
