I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if only i could text you this smell
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
