Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
