she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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