i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
