And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
