your parents love me but you hate me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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