I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
