Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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