giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
