guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
