I CAN MOONWALK!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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