Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
