Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I have tasted many bathrooms
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
