3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
