margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
