To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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