First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
