to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
