don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
