Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
50% drunk capacity currently
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize