i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
