I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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