Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
