i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
