I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
