When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize