youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
