Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
