just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
