I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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