cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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