Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
