you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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