I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
